I was telephoned out of the blue recently by a charming lady with concern for my health. It transpired that she believed I might have worked in a noisy environment? I said, why yes, indeed I did. (After all, the Liverpool Cathedral Organ is one of the largest and loudest musical instruments in the world. And I’m passing tactfully over the vocal capacities of the Lay Clerks singing on either side of me, who are no shrinking violets.)

She then said that if I’d been in that noisy environment for a minimum of three years, and my employers hadn’t provided adequate ear protection, then I might be entitled to automatic compensation. Would I like to come to an assessment centre where my hearing would be tested, and where lawyers would be eagerly waiting to help me?

I rather spoiled this tête-a-tête by saying that ear protection would look odd in a choir. At this point she became a bit miffed, as the compensation was “only for industrial workers”. I pointed out that, at the start of the phone call, she’d been most insistent that she’d got my name and number out of the “Industrial Workers’ Register” (which, of course, doesn’t exist, she had just got it at random from the phone directory).

What could have been a beautiful friendship then came to an abrupt end. But it’s given me an idea.

If this happens to you, you might find it of interest to follow this link to the BBC investigation of the Central Claims Group of Bury, and if you use this link you can complain about cold-calling .